
One of the main concerns that a new Hotwife has would astonish her husband. She worries that she may not be attractive enough to be a hot Hotwife. Her husband of course finds this incredible: it is because she is so attractive in his eyes that he believes that every man that ever meets her will instantly want to fuck her. But, the male and female minds are very different and his Hotwife shares none of the aroused male mind’s certainty.
From the Hotwife’s perspective, such uncertainty and apprehension is entirely understandable. Firstly, there is enormous media pressure for women surrounding image and appearance, we must all look youthful, fit, glamorous and sexy in order to be appealing to others. This message is inescapable, pervasive and, pretty much, irresistible. Almost all women now dance to the tune of worldly expectations around their appearance in order to feel attractive. For the Hotwife this is even more accentuated, since what will compel her potential lover to dare to override the exclusivity suggested by the wedding ring, will be the Hotwife’s irresistible attractiveness and ‘fuckability’. This need to be compellingly attractive is a huge pressure for Hotwives, and is not one shared by men generally!
Secondly, the Hotwife has already found her man: she had a stable, secure relationship at home with a man that she loved, and from whom she received love. However, since the introduction of the Hotwife fantasy into the marriage, she has felt less certain about the stability of this primary relationship: ‘why does he want to share me?’, ‘why is my faithfulness not important to him any more?’, ‘is this just a prelude to him wanting to sleep around?’ and ‘why would he risk me becoming attached to another man?’ are all questions that float around her mind. Maybe the husband can convince his wife that he is not ‘moving on’, seeking someone else or any less committed than the day they married.

But still one doubt remains in the Hotwife’s mind: ‘I felt great when I got married 10 years ago, but will anyone still find me attractive now?’. This question has its origins in the simple fact that it has been a long time since she was last ‘dating’ and the skills, confidence and positive self esteem of men constantly chatting her up feels very distant to her now. When you have no partner, entering the cut and thrust of dating with all of its potential rejections and missteps, is seen as a necessary evil that must be endured in order to ‘get your man’. But if you already have a man, who in their right mind would want to re-enter that world of uncertainty, which requires such a thick skin?
I might add that this is not a problem limited only to women that are new to becoming a Hotwife. Ask any Hotwife, however experienced, and they will all have tales of ‘Ghosting’ men, flakes that seemed hot and panting at first but then leave her high and dry later. For the husbands, maybe this sort of guy, that backs out and disappears, is a frustration to him achieving the high he craves, of his Hotwife being fucked by a well hung new man. But for the Hotwife, there is the added pain of the feeling of rejection, the shame of not being perceived to be attractive enough to guarantee that the lover turns up to claim her for himself.
So whether it is her first time as a Hotwife, or the hundredth time, each occasion of going to a bar, visiting the sports club, chatting with ‘that’ colleague, is a perilous journey into the unknown with self esteem and self-image at stake, all experienced under the added burden of the public gaze of a hopeful husband. Little wonder that so few women actually say, “Yes, I’d love to be a Hotwife, let’s start tonight!”.

However, for those brave souls that are so driven by their own desire for variety, exciting extra martial sex and more male attention than one man could ever provide, I believe there is a different way of viewing each phase of the move to being a Hotwife that takes the pressure off the woman and on to the men…
Read the rest of this article on my website www.hotwifelife.org .
This article is from me, The Thinking Man’s Hotwife, the author of….


